Project Rebuild

PREVIOUS TENANTS

Verdict/Victory Rendered/Reshaped

Like an
unending barrage of shells and bombs
after a final gasp of defiance,

my bitter vitriol
will eviscerate and devour every

insecurity, bond

doubt, trust
love, hate

joy and worry

until all that is left

is a final,

irrefutable,

pure,

and

b e a u t i f u l

   void.

Death
                                       is what you told
me
would come if I continued to
live the way I do.

From my youth to even now

20
years
you
lash me to your whims,
                                        your fears,
your hopes,
   your insecurities,
your paranoia.

All the while,

I

had

to free

myself and myself alone.

I know now that it is not death

and the judgment of a god that awaits

but instead

the

void.

The void does not judge.
                                              It is what comes after.

Not heaven,

nor

hell

As above

so below.

There is nothing here for me now or ever.

No hope

love

joy

happiness

family

home

                            I
                            am
                             adrift

clinging on to spite and delusions to make it one more day

                                                                                          I
                                                                                      am
                                                                                   alone
                                                             Isolated by
                             fear
                             apathy
                             despair

How can one live like this

Mutter

vater

Gottes Speichellecker

                                                    Die Freude des Teufels

Du hast meine hasst

Und

n
       i
            e
                m
                     a
                        l

s

meine

Liebe.

Fick dich.

You will never read this.

- You, who sought to define me

- You, who lied to me

- You, who would arbitrarily redefine the love of those I thought I could call family, while debating my lack of adherence to religion

You who would shackle

me to your definitions

of what I am.

You say I am doomed without you,

that when you die,
I
will
be
helpless.

So be it.

Let my fate be tied to yours

my life end with yours

Let your efforts be for naught

my hopes and dreams burn

on the pyre of despair and mindless bigotry

For when the

v

claims you

Know that I will go into it smiling

Know that you raised a dead person

Know that I will piss on your graves

Know that if I see you

in

the

beyond

                               My heart will sing
              at the despair and grief I have caused

I will voluntarily tear this family apart

Some may see this life as paradise

True. And
                                        a fictional person also said that;

Even paradise is a prison when you can't leave

Let this jailbreak set me free

Whether into an existence as who I truly am or into the void

Where none of this matters

Bring me my fate. I am ready.

Verlust

RENOVATE THIS POEM